In 2023, I turned 25 and I never felt so behind. Scrolling through social media and seeing people living lavishly with amazing jobs, left me feeling depleted and not enough. Since I am a content creator, I thought I had to overindulge in the influencer lifestyle by taking extravagant trips, wearing expensive clothes, and going out often. Those thoughts got to my head badly, I thought I could afford a trip to Paris with a part-time job. Yeah, not exactly, but I did muster up enough money for a trip to New York to bring in my 25th birthday. Was it the best financial decision? No. But was it amazing and would I do it all over again? Yes x1,000. The New York trip wasn’t the only thing that I spent lots of money on. I went to festivals, concerts, more vacations, and spent $1,000+ on clothes to keep up. The whole year I was spending left and right and right and left. And by the end of 2023, I had lost most of my savings and felt depleted. What is crazy is I thought me not having enough money or a good job was what had me feeling left behind, but it was truly comparing myself to strangers on the internet.

Do I feel if my social media usage was limited, I would have a better life? Yes 100%. But I do not think I would still be 100% happy with where I am as I approach 26. Even as a kid, I wanted more and expected more from myself by this age. Growing up in a small city in South Carolina, I feel most people can be small-minded or just not care for more. I always dreamed big and I truly never felt like I belonged. In my early years of high school, I was known for my outfits. Because I would dress in funky outfits and did not care who stared. I was just different and I thought at this age, I would have a nice job, a high-rise apartment, and a fabulous wardrobe. I had this viewpoint that I would be a celebrity or the corporate girl who is always best dressed. Once I hit 25, I was very aware that I was nowhere near any of that.

Seeing all the people my age on lavish vacations hurt me to my core. To know me is to know my one true love for this life is to be able to travel the world. want to see it all. The culture, the people, the architecture, the foods, everything. So when I saw people who graduated same time as me and were affording vacations. I thought I was not doing anything right here. In reality, I don’t know how people can afford the trips. But it isn’t my business. People will always be doing better than me, if I continue to focus on them and not me.

As I approached 26, I realized those feelings I had when I turned 25 were all wrong. When I turned off the device and lived, I realized how great of a life I do have. How grateful I am to afford this apartment, these clothes, this food. How grateful I am to be able to share my talents and gifts with the world. Am I 100% happy with where I am in life? No. But am I grateful for this life I’m currently living? Yes. This is my journal for myself that I’m sharing for whoever wants to read it and needs these reminders. If this blog resonated with you, please comment below so I can know you read it.

Until next time,

Akeya